I *know* the midwest needs rain. It's been like 50 bazillion degrees for like 8 years straight. We NEED rain. My poor plants need it. I'm a lazy plant owner, and they're needy plants.
I digress.
I need to go run. I have to go run. I skipped my run on Thursday, so I need to run today and tomorrow, so I don't lose my momentum.
But it's raining.
I either need to buck up and go run in the rain, or just go do my weekly grocery shopping. I need to stop sitting here like a punk, procrastinating on Blogger, instead of making this decision.
This is the quickest update EVAR, mainly because I'm too mentally exhausted to type out complete thoughts.
BULLETS:
Our wedding DJ backed out last week... But it's okay, because mom found a replacement before I even knew this happened. It's a shittastic situation, and I'm feeling kind of bitter. People suck.
Mom paid for the new DJ... Which makes me feel guilty. I need to pay her back ASAP.
The list of crap to buy/pay for for the wedding keeps growing... And our paychecks ain't getting any bigger around these parts. PANIC.
Running is getting easier, but my shins still hurt. But I'm running more than 20 feet, so that's a plus.
We will probably have to cut back our photography package for the wedding. I'm not happy about this.
We've received 15 RSVPs in the mail. FIFTEEN. Out of the 93 I sent, that's pretty weak. Not cool.
I'm going to sit Skip down tonight and tell him to either step-up and do stuff, or quit being a Groomzilla. Seriously. Either get on the same train as me, or quit being a caboose.
I bought crystal martini glasses from Wal-Mart... Yes, you read that correctly. Seriously, the best $15 I've ever spent. They're awesome, and I love martinis.
I have 10 billion wedding projects to work on. Seriously, 10 billion.
I need new clothes. Not only have I lost weight, but some unexplained phenomenon put pinkish splotches on my FAVORITE FREAKING KHAKI WORK PANTS. Ugh. I seriously don't know what it was. I checked all my pockets prior to washing. I'm ticked.
The heat wave makes me angry. It's cooler in Florida than it is here in Missouri. WHY?!
I want it to be fall. I want pumpkin candles and pumpkin muffins. And not-hot weather.
I think this is it. Hopefully more completed thoughts will come your way soon... Maybe I'll sip on a few martinis, and make that happen tonight.
I know I've said that about fifty bajillion times, but I'm serious. It's hard. Finding the motivation to hit the pavement is hard. Pushing through pain, sweat, and heat is hard. Thinking about your feet, legs, arms, head, posture, breathing, pace, and keeping an eye on the trail... All at the same time... Is hard.
But no one said this would be easy.
Becoming a runner isn't going to happen overnight... Not for me, anyways. Some people can lace up their sneakers and hit the trail like they were born to do it. Not this girl. Running, like losing weight, is one of those things I'm just going to have to chip away at one tiny bit at a time. I didn't lose 23 pounds overnight, and I'm not going to run a mile that way, either.
Since re-dedicating myself to this journey, I've decided that I should try to sign up for a race. I need something to motivate me, and keep me going... Something to look forward to accomplishing. The trouble is, I'm afraid of that committment. What if I sign up, and I'm not ready by race day? What if my shin pain gets worse, and I have to take time off? What if I sign up for a big race, and then bomb on race day?
Most of this is mental stuff. The phrase "what if" seriously should be banned from my vocabulary.
I'm fearful of signing up for something too soon, and not having enough time to adequately prepare. I'm like, the definition of a beginner. Be-gin-ner. Period. So if I sign up for a race in September, will I be ready? My logical side says probably not. Even if I trained everysingleday, I probably wouldn't survive a September race. How about October? Well... Scratch off most of that month, since we'll either be up to our necks in wedding preparations, or we'll be in Florida getting married. November? Julie's wedding.
This is where I have stupid, stupid thoughts.
I found a race I really, really want to do. It's for a cause that is close to my heart. It's a 5k. It's in November. It's two days after Julie's wedding.
Julie's wedding takes place on Friday evening... I fly out of Ft. Myers at like, 6am Saturday morning. (Possibly hungover from the festivities. Yikes.) This race takes place at like, 8am Sunday morning. And then I go back to work on Monday.
The cause is for lung cancer... Some of you, my dear followers, know that I lost both my grandparents to lung cancer. This cause is so close to my heart, and running this race would mean the world to me. But, failing at this race would be really awful. And as busy as my schedule is, and knowing how far I have to go until I can run a 5k... My better judgment says I shouldn't do this.
...But I really want to.
What would you do in this situation? Advice? Thoughts? Encouragement? I'm really torn on this one. I need a race to train for, but I don't want my first race to be such an important one... Because I might fail.
Didn't do as much as I wanted to this morning... Mainly because I was afraid of the pain in my shins/calves. I'm not experienced enough to know what is "normal" pain, rather than "OMG STOP NOW" pain. This was pretty terrible pain, so it's probably for the best that I called it quits a little early.
At least I ran. I didn't used to run at all. So that's a step forward.
Now off to spend all of Skip's money on groceries. Did I tell you he bought a freezer chest? Yes, yes... We now own a deep freezer. So now I need to fill it up with stuff on sale. Chicken breasts for $1.19 a pound? I'M SO THERE.
Note to self: Buy frozen peas. They make good ice packs for shins.
So, Wednesday evening, Ben Davis and the Do Life Movement made their way to Kansas City. I hadn't originally planned on participating in their 5k event, but when I realized I would be downtown anyways... I couldn't not go.
Turn Left, Do Life.
I recruited Julia from the Bosky Blog, and her adooooorable furry running buddy Goliath, to meet with me, and DO LIFE!
Aren't they cute?!
I arrived at Liberty Memorial with buzzards butterflies in my stomach. I had never walked a 5k... A 5k is 3.1 miles. The most I've done (in one consecutive session) was 2.5 miles... And that was mostly walking. What had I gotten myself into?
I met with Julia and G about 30 seconds after I arrived... She parked right behind me! What are the odds?! Anyhoo... She (and Goliath) were super awesome and friendly. She's pretty much exactly the same in person as she is on her blog. And Goliath is just as cute and furry and energetic. He was ready to RUN!
As soon as we walked toward the sign-in table, we were greeted by Ben, of the Ben Does Life blog. He was really warm and friendly, and it was like we were the best of friends from way back in the day. There were brief introductions, and a funny story about a breakup gone wrong. He is genuinely friendly, and is also pretty much the same in person as he is on his blog. I had a brief *starstruck* moment... HE'S LIKE A CELEBRITY! ZOMG!
Oh, and the news was there. Because the Do Life movement is big, people. You'll see me for like, 2 seconds at the end jogging. Yeah!
So there was signing in and introductions and chit-chattery... And then it was time for a group photo!
DO YOU SEE ME?! I'M NEXT TO BEN!
Immediately after this picture was taken, I dropped my super-awesome "unbreakable" pink water bottle, and the bottom broke. Bye-bye, Gatorade. And RIP most favorite bottle ever. I was a little panicked, because the Gatorade is like, the only thing that gets me through cardio. Probably totally mental, but it was like someone stole my running shoes. Could I do this without my Elixer of Life?!
The answer: Yes. But more about that in a minute. First, we start running!
See me? Goofy form, big cheesy grin... WHO AM I?!
I started towards the back of the pack, since I was well aware that I am ridiculously slow. I was slightly paranoid that I'd be the only walker, but that was not the case. After all, the Do Life movement isn't about how far or how fast. It's about making a step in the right direction, and making it to the finish line.
So in that picture up there, you'll also see that lady in the middle in the black shirt... That's Ben's mom. And I had the pleasure of walking with her for a portion of the course, and she is a super nice lady. She is equally in-awe of Ben's story, his blog, and the movement. She sounded like just another fan when she was talking about the blog. "It's just so dang funny!" Her Arkansas accent was also awesomesauce. I talked with her and a couple other ladies, about losing weight and getting active. My pace slowed considerably while we were chatting, but it was so good to talk to someone else about my weight loss journey. Sometimes, you just need to hear the words coming out of your own mouth. It was like free therapy. Good stuff.
I walked, jogged, and talked my way through the rest of the 3 mile course. Coming in on the home stretch, I knew I wanted to finish strong. I knew I couldn't just mosey across the finish line like it was NBD. I didn't walk the last 2+ miles to finish on a low note. I apologized to my walking buddy, and told her I was off to jog the rest of the way. I jogged a stretch, stopped to walk briefly, and then picked up the pace for the final steps of my first 5k.
As I approached the finish line, all the other people who finished before me were cheering... And clapping... And hollering out words of encouragement. I don't know what the definition of a "runner's high" is, but that was a pretty amazing feeling for me. I got a high-five from a random guy, and one from Ben. And that was pretty cool.
Seconds away from a high-five from Ben! AHH!
I may have been almost last, but I did it. I finished my first 5k, and I'm not even ashamed to say that I walked most of it. I didn't think I would make it through two laps... Let alone the third. And a couple months ago, I wouldn't have peeled myself off the couch to walk 5 feet, let alone 5k. Julia and Goliath were waiting for me, too, taking pictures of my "Finish Line Moment", and giving me happy puppydog slobbers. It was pretty awesome.
(I'll be stealing those pics from her blog as soon as she posts them... So keep your eyes out for more awesome sweaty pics!)
Ben Davis, Julia, Me, and Goliath
Usually, after these Do Life events, everyone goes out to dinner for camraderie and whatnot... But I was feeling tired and hadn't seen Skip since 5am... And I had two missed calls and a text from my mom waiting on my phone. Mom usually doesn't call me, so I knew two missed calls was probably semi-serious. I called her from the parking lot before I left, and decided to skip the post-5k meal. I was pretty bummed to miss it, but when momma calls, you can't just ignore it. It turned out to be nothing too major, and it gave me the opportunity to tell mom what I had just done. She seemed so proud, and joked that she was, "exhausted just hearing about it." Hah. Love ya, mommadukes.
Skipper was equally proud of me, and I think had a hard time believing that I walked a 5k, let alone did some running... Hah. Silly boy. I did get him to help me put my first sticker on the Jeep when I got home...
Me: "OMG MAKE SURE IT'S NOT CROOKED!"
I'm usually against stickers on cars (especially ones people just slap on all crooked an' junk), but I felt like this one was necessary. And it's on the driver's side, so every time I get in the Jeep, I'm reminded to Do Life. And maybe to drive to the park and run, instead of going to Starbucks for an iced caramel macchiato. Hah.
She even has a sweet ponytail! Yeah!
And so concludes the story of my first 5k, and the Do Life Movement experience in Kansas City. I really feel like this was just the kick in the pants I needed to get back to exercising, and watching what I eat. I felt so inspired, that I got up yesterday morning and hit the trail hardcore.
Well, as hardcore as someone like me can hit the trail. Hah.
I did one mile (2 laps around the park), and logged my best-ever mile time... 20 minutes, 34 seconds. Which really isn't so great, but it's pretty awesome for me. I ran... A lot. Definitely a lot more than I usually run. It hurt and it was hard, but I just kept going. There were a few times when I told myself, "Just run to that tree," and that tree turned into "That next tree"... So I was exceeding my goals, not just meeting them.
WHO IS THIS PERSON?!
This is a person who is tired of being overweight. This is a person who is getting married in under 3 months, and does not want to look like she's wearing a big white tent. This is a person who wants babies someday, and wants to be a healthy pregnant lady. This is a person who also wants to be a healthy momma someday. This is a person who is tired of the "somedays" and "tomorrows"... It's time for "today" and "now."
I have decided to go out to Liberty Memorial here in Kansas City tomorrow, to be a part of the "Do Life Tour."
For those of you who aren't awesome, go find the Ben Does Life blog. Ben is this cool guy who made a promise to his grandma to lose weight and get happy. And it's a promise he's kept. He's done Ironman races, and a ton of other ridiculously cool and inspiring stuff. He's taken to the road this summer, and is touring the country to spread the word about the Do Life movement.
Since I've been in a weight loss and exercise rut, I've decided to go take part in the 5k they're hosting here in KC as a part of the tour. I certainly won't be running the entire 5k, but I'm damn sure going to try. I need a kick in the pants, so I think this would be a good way to get motivated.
Or maybe it'll be completely horrible and embarassing. *shrug* Either way, it's happening. I'm doing it.
Skip should be home in an hour and a half... Gonna see if he wants to do this with me. I'm fully expecting him to decline, but I'm gonna keep my fingers crossed. I'm totally prepared to do this on my own, though.
Be on the lookout for updates... If not tomorrow, then definitely on Thursday.
I knew this. I've always known this. So WHY WHY WHY do I think that I should be able to hop on the trail and run like it's the only thing my chubby legs have ever wanted to do?!
Probably because I'm stupid.
I logged about 2 miles of walking/sprinting today... Mostly walking, with a little sprinting. I must admit that my new, fitted-to-me running shoes are pretty much awesome. Like, glitter and unicorn farts awesome. I don't get crippling cramps, my feet don't hurt, and so far... No knee pain! WHAT?! YES! No knee pain. That's a first.
However... I think my body is engineered wrong for running. Seriously, I do. I find myself thinking about what my feet and ankles are doing... And man, they do some weird shit when I run. My feet don't land right... I don't feel like my stride is normal at all. My feet strike the ground at a weird spot... Not really my heel, but not the arch either. Skip makes fun of the way I run on the regular... He's like, "You run loud." Thanks, dude. Appreciate the observation.
But yea. My feet an' junk... They just don't do what they're probably supposed to do. So I spend most of the time I'm walking/running/flailing trying to figure out WTF my feet are doing. And I try to focus on planting my feet "correctly"... Which feels weird, and probably hinders any kind of progress. But nothing feels right. I'm not a runner... I'm a wanna-be.
I've also decided that Gatorade is God's gift to me, and it makes my walks/runs more bearable. Seriously. I drank the stuff on the walk where I killed my phone, and it was like, the easiest most wonderful walk ever. Yeah, like, glitter and unicorn farts. So now I don't go without my Gatorade... And so far, every walk since that one as been amazing. Maybe it's just the clever marketing, but I seriously believe it. Although, I'd probably drink dog pee if someone told me it would turn me into an athlete. IJS.
Wedding planning is chugging along like the Little Engine That's Sucking Up My Money Could. I've got a phone consultation set up with the cupcake (!!!) baker, a tentative appointment with a dress shop to press my dress for cheap once I get down there, and a list of websites where I can order all kinds of stuff I need on the cheap. Cheers to that! I have about 18 more phone calls to make, and clearly I'm making good use of my time by blogging about it.
Procrastination at it's best.
Milo is doing well, besides having "rocks in his weiner", as Skip says. They're not actually in his weiner... They're in his bladder. If they move to the weiner, that's bad news bears. Anyways, he's a happy little pup, and is totally soaking up all the love and attention and extra crap he gets to eat because he's "sick." Which basically consists of various different things I can hide his antibiotics in, because the vet thought it would be a good idea to give him horse pills. They're enormous, and Milo likes to spit them out like a jerk.
Roxy is a little jealous, but seriously when is she not? I've promised her a "mommy-daughter day" on Tuesday while he's in surgery... We're going to get her nails clipped. She is going to flip her shit. Sorry, little lady. Your nails are 18 feet long, and I don't own a muzzle and a straight jacket to keep you from biting my face off. That's why I pay the groomer $15 to do it for me.
We're also gonna go get ice cream. Mostly because I want ice cream.
Okay, I really need to cut this off right now, and get something accomplished today. The house is a mess, I have people to call, and blogging isn't gonna get shit done.
Yes, you read that correctly. I, Malaya "I Hate Running" (Lastname), has started running. Not like, running 8 miles straight or anything... But running. In little bitty spurts. Like, walk a hundred yards, run 10 feet. It's a start.
Just as I started my "weight loss journey", I've decided I need to kick things up a notch with the exercise. And it all starts with one small step. I didn't start off eating super healthy foods 3 meals a day. I didn't give up my daily gallon of Coca-Cola cold turkey. And I'm not going to just start running a freakin' marathon out of the blue.
So here we go... Baby steps. A little sprinting mixed into my daily walks... And soon, I'll start the Couck to 5K program that I downloaded on my phone 2 months ago. Someday, I want to be able to run more than 10 feet without dying of a heart attack and out-of-breathness.
I usually make excuses for why I didn't start doing this a long time ago... Things like, "I'm not ready," or "I need to wait until ______." So no more excuses. I need to start NOW, and quit putting it off.
I started yesterday, actually. And right NOW, I need to quit writing a ridiculously redundant blog post, and GTFO of my apartment, and RUN.
