Thanks a lot, Mother Nature...

It's raining.

I *know* the midwest needs rain. It's been like 50 bazillion degrees for like 8 years straight. We NEED rain. My poor plants need it. I'm a lazy plant owner, and they're needy plants.

I digress.

I need to go run. I have to go run. I skipped my run on Thursday, so I need to run today and tomorrow, so I don't lose my momentum.

But it's raining.

I either need to buck up and go run in the rain, or just go do my weekly grocery shopping. I need to stop sitting here like a punk, procrastinating on Blogger, instead of making this decision.

Ok. For reals. I'm leaving.

Rain, sprinkles, and reusable grocery bags--

Wedding planning ain't for sissies. Especially when you live in one state, and the wedding you're planning is 1,400 miles away, in another state. Oh, and everyone ever who could help is in that state too. And everyone ever that is totally annoying and unhelpful is scattered somewhere else in-between.

People have told me I should delegate tasks to people... Like bridesmaids and family members who I don't want to kill. Okay, no problem. Can you buy me some of these pumpkins from Joann Crafts?



No? The Joann Crafts in Florida doesn't carry awesome funky-shaped fake pumpkins? How about equally-awesome white fake pumpkins? Like these?


No? No white pumpkins?

DOES YOUR JOANN CRAFTS HAVE ANY OF THESE PUMPKINS?! Any pumpkins at all? Anything that remotely resembles a pumpkin? How about foam floral balls? We could shape them into pumpkins, and then paint them. No? No foam?

WHISKEY. TANGO. FOXTROT.

But it's probably for the best that these pumpkins don't exist in Florida... Because once they're found, I'd have to work out sending money for their purchase. And I don't even want to know what that would be like. I'll just buy them here, and strap them to the roof of the Jeep with duct tape and kitchen twine. They *should* survive the drive. No worries.

So delegating is a no-go. Even calling mom for help in some tasks is frightening... She's kind of like Skip, in that her favorite line is, "It's okay... I've got it handled." And I'm like, "Do you really?? Do you have this handled?? 'Cause I'm 1,400 miles away and I'm FREAKING OUT and I need to be positively sure that you have this handled in the best way possible. Text me pictures for proof, lady! kthx."

Except I don't really tell her that. I just make a list of the stuff I need her to do, and I put little reminders on my calendar so I know when to remind her, REALLY remind her, FREAK OUT AND REMIND HER AGAIN, and then just worry about it when I get to Florida.

And then there's delegating to Skip... Which should be all happy fun times, but it's not. He makes me kind of stabby with stuff. "Oh yea, I'll do that..." Which secretly means he won't do it in a timely fashion, which will make me anxious, and I'll just do it my damn self so it gets done. It's also a chore to get Skip to pry himself away from ESPN to discuss wedding crap. He mutes the TV... Which means he's just reading the ticker at the bottom instead of listening to me babble about bouttonieres or tablecloths.

OH. AND THE TABLECLOTHS. Did I tell you about Groomzilla and the Not-Ivory-Enough Tablecloths? Maybe I did... I don't remember. But yea, he whined that the Ivory tablecloth sample I ordered was too white. So we ordered this other Ivory one, and it's like, WHOAH BUDDY, in-your-face-ivory. I don't like it. Now it's too ivory. And now Skip is like, "I DON'T CARE PLEASE DON'T KILL ME." So he now has zero opinion. Fantastic.

That there is the "too white" tablecloth, with our three overlay colors... Which mom has tried like, 56,327 times to talk me out of, because they'll be a pain in the ass to iron and make look pretty. But I'm an idiot bride, and this is what has to be on my tables. I love them, and it's happening. DONE. So whoever pisses me off the week before the wedding is getting the job of "overlay ironer." They're gonna get an iron, some starch, an ironing board, and 25 satin thingeys to iron... And like, 5 minutes to do it or else they get stabbed. See! Delegation!

I think I'm a bad bride.

Did I mention I hot-glued a thumbtack to my finger today? Yea, that was pretty awesome. Why was I putting hot glue on thumbtacks? Oh, because I'm insane. Yep. Insane. I was hot-gluing some fall leaf sequin glitter things to thumbtacks to possibly use for our escort cards... Yea, possibly. If I decide to do cards and not just a giant piece of paper with names and table assignments written on it in sharpie. So I may or may not have just glued 140 stupid sequin glitter leaves to thumbtacks for NO APPARENT REASON.

It's definitely too early for cocktails.

In closing, I need this wreath in my life:



...But you'll have to come to Kansas City to buy it for me. It only exists at the Joann Crafts by my house. You can't get it wherever you live. 

Vodka, Hot Glue, and Glitter---

Speed Up-Dating... Get it?

This is the quickest update EVAR, mainly because I'm too mentally exhausted to type out complete thoughts.

BULLETS:

• Our wedding DJ backed out last week... But it's okay, because mom found a replacement before I even knew this happened. It's a shittastic situation, and I'm feeling kind of bitter. People suck.
• Mom paid for the new DJ... Which makes me feel guilty. I need to pay her back ASAP.
• The list of crap to buy/pay for for the wedding keeps growing... And our paychecks ain't getting any bigger around these parts. PANIC.
• Running is getting easier, but my shins still hurt. But I'm running more than 20 feet, so that's a plus.
• We will probably have to cut back our photography package for the wedding. I'm not happy about this.
• We've received 15 RSVPs in the mail. FIFTEEN. Out of the 93 I sent, that's pretty weak. Not cool.
• I'm going to sit Skip down tonight and tell him to either step-up and do stuff, or quit being a Groomzilla. Seriously. Either get on the same train as me, or quit being a caboose.
• I bought crystal martini glasses from Wal-Mart... Yes, you read that correctly. Seriously, the best $15 I've ever spent. They're awesome, and I love martinis.
• I have 10 billion wedding projects to work on. Seriously, 10 billion.
• I need new clothes. Not only have I lost weight, but some unexplained phenomenon put pinkish splotches on my FAVORITE FREAKING KHAKI WORK PANTS. Ugh. I seriously don't know what it was. I checked all my pockets prior to washing. I'm ticked.
• The heat wave makes me angry. It's cooler in Florida than it is here in Missouri. WHY?!
• I want it to be fall. I want pumpkin candles and pumpkin muffins. And not-hot weather.

I think this is it. Hopefully more completed thoughts will come your way soon... Maybe I'll sip on a few martinis, and make that happen tonight.

...But don't hold your breath.

VODKA SPARKLES,

There are no stupid questions. Just stupid answers.

I'm starting to think that weddings were created to test brides-to-be on how far they can be pushed until they snap.

Seriously. The questions people ask me are ridiculous. And they ask them over and over and over. Like, the same person will ask me the same question 56 times. And it's never like, vitally important questions. People also don't talk amongst themselves, so I get the same questions from tons of different people.

Some examples:

Q: What colors the bridesmaids are wearing?
A: Fall colors. Red, orange, wine, and brown. Yes, four different colors, and yes, four different dresses. I know they won't match. It's okay, I promise.

Q: What color should the women family members wear?
A: Any shade of whateveryouwanttowear will be just fine.

Q: What the male family members wearing?
A: My dad wearing a tux, since he's physically "in" the wedding. Everyone else can wear whatevertheywanttowear.

Q: What is the dresscode?
A: Clothes. You need to wear clothes. Not a ballgown, and not cutoffs and a sleeveless tee shirt, either. But mostly, just cover your naughty bits.

Q: What's the weather going to be like?
A: Either hot or cold. I suggest checking the forecast before you pack your bags. Florida is a little unpredictable in October, and my crystal ball is on the fritz.

Q: What if it rains?
A: The wedding and reception are both indoors. I promise I thought about this stuff.

Q: What time is the wedding?
A: READ THE INVITATION I PAID FOR, ADDRESSED, STAMPED, AND MAILED TO YOU. kthx.

Q: How much is the wedding costing you?
A: A lot. A whole lot. A whole lot more than I'm going to tell you. If you're concerned, though, we're accepting cash donations in the form of large, uncirculated bills.

Q: What are your wedding colors?
A: "Fall Colors." Browns, reds, golds, oranges, etc. It's a variety. Crazy, I know. But Day-Glo orange is SO last year.

Q: Where are you getting your hair and makeup done?
A: Probably in the bathroom at my mom's house. Weddings are expensive, and my hair and makeup are kind of at the bottom of the list of crap that needs to be paid for. If you're treating, though, we can go wherever you like. I'd love to suggest a few salons in town.

Q: Can we get a picture of you and [relative's name] or you and Skip [posing explanation].
A: Sure. Tell the lady with the big fancy camera. I'm paying her a lot of money to do just that: take pictures of us. I seriously can't be responsible for remembering every single photographic pose and combination between now and October. My brain purges crap like that on the regular.

Q: Are you having music?
A: UM YES.

Q: Will there be an open bar?
A: Only if there's any liquor left after the bride is done drinking away her sorrows. You might want to BYOB, just in case.

Q: What does your dress look like?
A: It's big and white. You'll find out if you show up!

Q:  Will your dad be there?
A: Nope. Haven't talked to him in 5 years. I don't want him anywhere within 3 square miles of me on the biggest day of my life.

Q: Your AUNT is your maid of honor?! How old IS she?!
A: Yes, she is. She's the closest thing I have to a sister, and we're very close. She is seven years older than me, which is 32 for those of you who can't do math. (Which makes me 25.)

Q: Are you getting married on the beach?
A: HELL TO THE NO.

Q: WHY AREN'T YOU GETTING MARRIED ON THE BEACH?!
A: For starters, we don't like the beach. I know, crazy. It's too sandy to be tromping around in a big white dress. Beach weddings are also a little too cliche for us, and they're expensive. Since you'll be in Florida for the wedding, why not plan a trip to the beach? It's really close, I swear.

Q: Who's paying for the wedding?
A: Um, we are. Skip is working like 50 brazillion hours of overtime to make this happen. We're accepting contributions, but we're also not holding our breath.

Q: Will you need help before the wedding?
A: YES. Absolutely. Show up at my mom's house every day at 6am with coffee and doughnuts, and we should have everything done by the time I'm ready to walk down the aisle. Bring friends, and/or extra hands.

Q: Where are you going for your honeymoon?
A: HAHAHAHAAHAAA. You think we'll have money leftover for a honeymoon! That's cute.

Q: How old is your flower girl?
A: I get this a lot, and I don't know why. But she'll be six on Christmas, and she's awesome.

Q: What is a brooch bouquet, and why are you doing that instead of flowers?
A: Google it. And flowers die. Brooches do not.

Q: Can I have the brooches when you're done?
A: That's a big negative, Ghostrider. I put a lot of blood, sweat, tears, and hours on eBay into this bouquet. And they're all hot-glued in there, so don't even try it, Stickyfingers McGee.

Q: Are you having a bridal shower?
A: Are you throwing me a bridal shower? 'Cause those are usually a surprise to the bride. Just sayin'.

Q: Are you paying for our hotel room?





A: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA. No.
I think that's it. There are probably more, but they're escaping my brain at the moment. This weekend, I'm turning my phone off and ignoring everyone, and their dumb questions. Seriously. I can't handle any more questions. I'm going to fix myself a lemondrop martini (or three), and park myself in front of the TV.

I am mentally checking out until Monday morning.

Peace, silence, and vodka,

Someone, please, do me a favor...

PLEASE, for the love of God and all that is Holy... Call my future mother-in-law, and explain to her that I can't answer her calls while I'm working. And please remind her that I work Monday-Wednesday-Friday, from 8am-4:30pm. And let her know that when she calls me on a Wednesday, at 2:11pm, I'm not avoiding her call because I'm mean or something, but I'm actually working.

Every time someone calls me at work, and I pick up the phone... Someone walks into my office. It's like clockwork. Answer phone, get glared at by an impatient person. Never fails.

The same thing happens when I try to go pee at work. Close bathroom door, and a line of 56 people gathers outside my office.

Oh, and someone please come eat all this candy that's sitting on my desk. If I eat one more piece, I'm going to turn into a Kit-Kat bar.

kthxbai.

Brain vs. Heart vs. Body

Running is hard.

I know I've said that about fifty bajillion times, but I'm serious. It's hard. Finding the motivation to hit the pavement is hard. Pushing through pain, sweat, and heat is hard. Thinking about your feet, legs, arms, head, posture, breathing, pace, and keeping an eye on the trail... All at the same time... Is hard.

But no one said this would be easy.

Becoming a runner isn't going to happen overnight... Not for me, anyways. Some people can lace up their sneakers and hit the trail like they were born to do it. Not this girl. Running, like losing weight, is one of those things I'm just going to have to chip away at one tiny bit at a time. I didn't lose 23 pounds overnight, and I'm not going to run a mile that way, either.

Since re-dedicating myself to this journey, I've decided that I should try to sign up for a race. I need something to motivate me, and keep me going... Something to look forward to accomplishing. The trouble is, I'm afraid of that committment. What if I sign up, and I'm not ready by race day? What if my shin pain gets worse, and I have to take time off? What if I sign up for a big race, and then bomb on race day?

Most of this is mental stuff. The phrase "what if" seriously should be banned from my vocabulary.

I'm fearful of signing up for something too soon, and not having enough time to adequately prepare. I'm like, the definition of a beginner. Be-gin-ner. Period. So if I sign up for a race in September, will I be ready? My logical side says probably not. Even if I trained everysingleday, I probably wouldn't survive a September race. How about October? Well... Scratch off most of that month, since we'll either be up to our necks in wedding preparations, or we'll be in Florida getting married. November? Julie's wedding.

This is where I have stupid, stupid thoughts.

I found a race I really, really want to do. It's for a cause that is close to my heart. It's a 5k. It's in November. It's two days after Julie's wedding.

Julie's wedding takes place on Friday evening... I fly out of Ft. Myers at like, 6am Saturday morning. (Possibly hungover from the festivities. Yikes.) This race takes place at like, 8am Sunday morning. And then I go back to work on Monday.

The cause is for lung cancer... Some of you, my dear followers, know that I lost both my grandparents to lung cancer. This cause is so close to my heart, and running this race would mean the world to me. But, failing at this race would be really awful. And as busy as my schedule is, and knowing how far I have to go until I can run a 5k... My better judgment says I shouldn't do this.

...But I really want to.

What would you do in this situation? Advice? Thoughts? Encouragement? I'm really torn on this one. I need a race to train for, but I don't want my first race to be such an important one... Because I might fail.

Decisions, decisions.

Trying out something new...

So I wanted to add a signature to my posts... 'Cause I thought it would look cool an' junk. This took me an eternity to figure out, so I hope you guys like it.

Yes, I still refer to my readers as plural... Because I have hope that there's more than just one of you out there reading my attempts at being funny and/or inspiring. SURELY, there is more than one... Right?

In other news... I've got a bad case of The Mondays, and I really don't want to go run tonight. But the half empty candy bowl in my office tells me I should probably get out there and do work. Even though it's like, 86,743 degrees outside. HOT. Miserable. Schweddy.

Hugs and love from the surface of the sun,

GOOD MORNING!

Me and Skip are going for a run this morning.

Well, mostly a walk with some running sprinkled in. But it sounds better in my head if I just say "a run."

Don't judge me.

--Malaya

Ow ow ow...

My shins are on FIRE.

Didn't do as much as I wanted to this morning... Mainly because I was afraid of the pain in my shins/calves. I'm not experienced enough to know what is "normal" pain, rather than "OMG STOP NOW" pain. This was pretty terrible pain, so it's probably for the best that I called it quits a little early.

At least I ran. I didn't used to run at all. So that's a step forward.

Now off to spend all of Skip's money on groceries. Did I tell you he bought a freezer chest? Yes, yes... We now own a deep freezer. So now I need to fill it up with stuff on sale. Chicken breasts for $1.19 a pound? I'M SO THERE.

Note to self: Buy frozen peas. They make good ice packs for shins.

--Malaya

That was stupid.

Almost every Friday, before I go in to work, I go by Starbucks to get a grande, non-fat, caramel macchiato. Sometimes iced, sometimes hot. It's my end-of-the-week indulgence. A little cup of happiness to get me through the longest day of the week.

Today was a little different.

I went across the street to Hy-Vee, which has a Caribou Coffee just inside the door. If you've never had Caribou Coffee, I suggest you get on the first flight to the nearest city that has one, and GET YOU SOME. I love my 'Bucks, but Caribou has a very special place in my heart. And today, I wanted a Dark Chocolate Turtle Mocha. Had. To. Have. It.

Stupidly, I ordered it straight up... Not non-fat, not light, not no-whip. I had every intention of looking up the Weight Watchers points for it when I got to work, but my morning was surprisingly busy. So I looked it up just now, and my jaw hit the keyboard.

SIXTEEN POINTS.

That's like, half my daily allowance. Plus some.

I'm not even going to talk about the other item I ate this morning, because it's seriously too painful. I was really gung-ho to get back to keeping track of everything I'm eating, until I blew the majority of my daily points on a coffee and [other item]. Thank God for weekly points and activity points. And thank God all my points reset today.

To top it all off, Skip wants to head to Applebee's to use up a gift card tonight... Buh-bye, rest of my weekly points. It was nice knowin' ya.

Must. Run. Tonight.

--Malaya

Malaya Does Life.

So, Wednesday evening, Ben Davis and the Do Life Movement made their way to Kansas City. I hadn't originally planned on participating in their 5k event, but when I realized I would be downtown anyways... I couldn't not go.


Turn Left, Do Life.

I recruited Julia from the Bosky Blog, and her adooooorable furry running buddy Goliath, to meet with me, and DO LIFE!

Aren't they cute?!

I arrived at Liberty Memorial with buzzards butterflies in my stomach. I had never walked a 5k... A 5k is 3.1 miles. The most I've done (in one consecutive session) was 2.5 miles... And that was mostly walking. What had I gotten myself into?

I met with Julia and G about 30 seconds after I arrived... She parked right behind me! What are the odds?! Anyhoo... She (and Goliath) were super awesome and friendly. She's pretty much exactly the same in person as she is on her blog. And Goliath is just as cute and furry and energetic. He was ready to RUN!

As soon as we walked toward the sign-in table, we were greeted by Ben, of the Ben Does Life blog. He was really warm and friendly, and it was like we were the best of friends from way back in the day. There were brief introductions, and a funny story about a breakup gone wrong. He is genuinely friendly, and is also pretty much the same in person as he is on his blog. I had a brief *starstruck* moment... HE'S LIKE A CELEBRITY! ZOMG!

Oh, and the news was there. Because the Do Life movement is big, people. You'll see me for like, 2 seconds at the end jogging. Yeah!




So there was signing in and introductions and chit-chattery... And then it was time for a group photo!



DO YOU SEE ME?! I'M NEXT TO BEN!

 Immediately after this picture was taken, I dropped my super-awesome "unbreakable" pink water bottle, and the bottom broke. Bye-bye, Gatorade. And RIP most favorite bottle ever. I was a little panicked, because the Gatorade is like, the only thing that gets me through cardio. Probably totally mental, but it was like someone stole my running shoes. Could I do this without my Elixer of Life?!

The answer: Yes. But more about that in a minute. First, we start running!

See me? Goofy form, big cheesy grin... WHO AM I?!

I started towards the back of the pack, since I was well aware that I am ridiculously slow. I was slightly paranoid that I'd be the only walker, but that was not the case. After all, the Do Life movement isn't about how far or how fast. It's about making a step in the right direction, and making it to the finish line.

So in that picture up there, you'll also see that lady in the middle in the black shirt... That's Ben's mom. And I had the pleasure of walking with her for a portion of the course, and she is a super nice lady. She is equally in-awe of Ben's story, his blog, and the movement. She sounded like just another fan when she was talking about the blog. "It's just so dang funny!" Her Arkansas accent was also awesomesauce. I talked with her and a couple other ladies, about losing weight and getting active. My pace slowed considerably while we were chatting, but it was so good to talk to someone else about my weight loss journey. Sometimes, you just need to hear the words coming out of your own mouth. It was like free therapy. Good stuff.

I walked, jogged, and talked my way through the rest of the 3 mile course. Coming in on the home stretch, I knew I wanted to finish strong. I knew I couldn't just mosey across the finish line like it was NBD. I didn't walk the last 2+ miles to finish on a low note. I apologized to my walking buddy, and told her I was off to jog the rest of the way. I jogged a stretch, stopped to walk briefly, and then picked up the pace for the final steps of my first 5k.

As I approached the finish line, all the other people who finished before me were cheering... And clapping... And hollering out words of encouragement. I don't know what the definition of a "runner's high" is, but that was a pretty amazing feeling for me. I got a high-five from a random guy, and one from Ben. And that was pretty cool.

Seconds away from a high-five from Ben! AHH!

I may have been almost last, but I did it. I finished my first 5k, and I'm not even ashamed to say that I walked most of it. I didn't think I would make it through two laps... Let alone the third. And a couple months ago, I wouldn't have peeled myself off the couch to walk 5 feet, let alone 5k. Julia and Goliath were waiting for me, too, taking pictures of my "Finish Line Moment", and giving me happy puppydog slobbers. It was pretty awesome.

(I'll be stealing those pics from her blog as soon as she posts them... So keep your eyes out for more awesome sweaty pics!)
 

Ben Davis, Julia, Me, and Goliath

Usually, after these Do Life events, everyone goes out to dinner for camraderie and whatnot... But I was feeling tired and hadn't seen Skip since 5am... And I had two missed calls and a text from my mom waiting on my phone. Mom usually doesn't call me, so I knew two missed calls was probably semi-serious. I called her from the parking lot before I left, and decided to skip the post-5k meal. I was pretty bummed to miss it, but when momma calls, you can't just ignore it. It turned out to be nothing too major, and it gave me the opportunity to tell mom what I had just done. She seemed so proud, and joked that she was, "exhausted just hearing about it." Hah. Love ya, mommadukes.

Skipper was equally proud of me, and I think had a hard time believing that I walked a 5k, let alone did some running... Hah. Silly boy. I did get him to help me put my first sticker on the Jeep when I got home...

Me: "OMG MAKE SURE IT'S NOT CROOKED!"

I'm usually against stickers on cars (especially ones people just slap on all crooked an' junk), but I felt like this one was necessary. And it's on the driver's side, so every time I get in the Jeep, I'm reminded to Do Life. And maybe to drive to the park and run, instead of going to Starbucks for an iced caramel macchiato. Hah.


She even has a sweet ponytail! Yeah!

And so concludes the story of my first 5k, and the Do Life Movement experience in Kansas City. I really feel like this was just the kick in the pants I needed to get back to exercising, and watching what I eat. I felt so inspired, that I got up yesterday morning and hit the trail hardcore.

Well, as hardcore as someone like me can hit the trail. Hah.

I did one mile (2 laps around the park), and logged my best-ever mile time... 20 minutes, 34 seconds. Which really isn't so great, but it's pretty awesome for me. I ran... A lot. Definitely a lot more than I usually run. It hurt and it was hard, but I just kept going. There were a few times when I told myself, "Just run to that tree," and that tree turned into "That next tree"... So I was exceeding my goals, not just meeting them.

WHO IS THIS PERSON?!

This is a person who is tired of being overweight. This is a person who is getting married in under 3 months, and does not want to look like she's wearing a big white tent. This is a person who wants babies someday, and wants to be a healthy pregnant lady. This is a person who also wants to be a healthy momma someday. This is a person who is tired of the "somedays" and "tomorrows"... It's time for "today" and "now."

I've got a run scheduled for tonight after work.

Doing Life,

--Malaya

This is happening. Legit.

I have decided to go out to Liberty Memorial here in Kansas City tomorrow, to be a part of the "Do Life Tour."

For those of you who aren't awesome, go find the Ben Does Life blog. Ben is this cool guy who made a promise to his grandma to lose weight and get happy. And it's a promise he's kept. He's done Ironman races, and a ton of other ridiculously cool and inspiring stuff. He's taken to the road this summer, and is touring the country to spread the word about the Do Life movement.

Since I've been in a weight loss and exercise rut, I've decided to go take part in the 5k they're hosting here in KC as a part of the tour. I certainly won't be running the entire 5k, but I'm damn sure going to try. I need a kick in the pants, so I think this would be a good way to get motivated.

Or maybe it'll be completely horrible and embarassing. *shrug* Either way, it's happening. I'm doing it.

Skip should be home in an hour and a half... Gonna see if he wants to do this with me. I'm fully expecting him to decline, but I'm gonna keep my fingers crossed. I'm totally prepared to do this on my own, though.

Be on the lookout for updates... If not tomorrow, then definitely on Thursday.

PEACE.

--Malaya

Things I Know

I am:

• Imperfect.
• The daughter of a woman and a man who couldn't make their marriage work.
• In love with a man who is my everything.
• Silly, weird, awkward, clumsy, and funny.
• Concerned about what people think about me.
• Shy, self-conscious, and my own worst enemy.
• Open-minded, patient, respectful, and passionate.
• The product of a family that didn't have a lot of money, but had a lot of love.
• Fifty-percent of an amazing soon-to-be husband and wife team.
• Easily hurt by the things people say about me.

I am NOT:

• Required to allow people to judge me unfairly.
• Going to be hurt by the things people say behind my back.
• Allowing negativity in my life anymore.
• Going to let anyone ruin our wedding day.
• Required to pretend to be anyone other than myself.
• Required to like everyone at all times.
• Ashamed of my past, my present, or my future.
• Going to keep my feelings bottled up anymore.
• Going to try so hard for things that aren't worth the effort.
• Ashamed of who I am.

Sorry this is a weird post today, folks... It was kind of a weird weekend. Lots of processing in progress, and processing to be done. I miss my friends, and I miss my family. I want it to be October, so I can plop myself down in a room full of love and awesome people. I want to get the wedding done and over with, so we can open up a new chapter in our lives.

But seriously... I need friends and family. I love you guys (I know *someone* reads this thing), and I miss you like crazy. You all might BE crazy, but you're the best people I could ask for. Seriousness.

Love across the miles,

--Malaya

Friday Fail.

I think that's what I'll start calling my weekly Friday entries. Fabulous Friday Failures. Catchy, no?

So, once again, it's almost quittin' time here on the ranch, and I'm scrambling to throw together a blog post. I've been busy at work today (Seriously! I have! Stop laughing!), so I've barely had time to do my work, let alone think of something to blog about.

Milo is doing swell, though he's still cranky and sore and peeing lots of blood. The blood is normal, and the cranky 'tude is to be expected. I'd probably be a grouch too, if someone cut me open and pulled rocks out of my bladder. He's definitely perked up a lot the last couple days, so that's a good sign. I've gotten cuddles and tail wags and some begging for food... So he's almost back to normal.

Oh, and they made him wear the Cone of Shame... Because he wouldn't stop licking his manly area, and it was all red and irritated. The stitches were fine, but everything else (yes, *everything*) looked like it was covered with a giant hickey. So Conehead he is, and giggly is momma. I seriously can't stop laughing at him in the cone. I feel terrible, but it's hilarious. He walks into things, he has trouble getting up and down stairs... And he gives me this pathetic, "Oh God WHY" face when I make him wear it. It makes me giggle, in a sad, "Mommy's Sorry" kind of way.

At least he only has to wear it when I'm not watching him like a hawk.

We're off to visit Skip's family in St. Louis this weekend... Should be a fun weekend. A hot, sweltering, melt-your-face-off weekend... But fun! I'm baking 3 desserts tomorrow morning before we go to a barbecue with his dad... So I need to get up and get my game face on in the morning. Woo.

Other than all that... Nothing is new. Wedding plans are still moving along, we're still broke, and I'm still insane.

4:10! Time to go finish my paperwork and GO HOME! YAY!

--Malaya